


CronKrack

by Wakingonprospit



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack, M/M, Please Don't Kill Me, Stupidity, This Is STUPID, just crack, please dont read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:09:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wakingonprospit/pseuds/Wakingonprospit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just don't read this. I got a request for Cronkri Crack.<br/>Cronus gets a human transplant and Kankri is a mech.</p>
            </blockquote>





	CronKrack

Cronus Ampora always wanted to be human. One day, wanting to follow his dreams, he traded his first born son, Nathaniel, for magical beans. And by magical beans I mean a human transplant. And by human transplant, I mean he had plastic surgery so that he could look like a human.

He wanted to show off his new humany self to his matesprit, Kankri. And by matesprit, I mean human relationship type boyfriend. He kicked down the door to Kankris hive. And by hive I mean human house.

"Kannickers!" the disfigured human troll cried, "look at how beautiful I am." Cronus's horns were missing and his skin was painted a PEACHY shade of PEACH. He had a strange lump coming out of his chest.

"Cronus!" Kankri screams hysterically, "I just finished preparing myself for your juicy human genotalia! Take me now you handsome stud!" Because we all know how much of a mecha- I mean mega slut Kankri is I mean lesbihonest. The robot Kankri bent over the table and moved his booty to stretch all the way across the room and wiggles it in front of Cronus's face.

"Not now, you whore," Cronus said as he started to take off his clothes like a whore. "I'm finally human Kankri!"

Once Cronus's clothes were off it was revealed that the surgeon, whose name was Charles, had given Cronus a human penis just to the right of his tentabulge, and a vagina where his belly button should be. He had one bulging breast while the other side of his chest was entirely flat.

"I couldn't decide what I wanted." admits with a sigh before continuing, "Do you like me like this?" He asks seductively with a little human eyebrow wiggle for good measure, dipping a finger lightly into the folds of his belly vagina.

"Cronus," Kankri says, staring at the mangled body of his sugar plum, "You know that I fully support you in all of the choices that you make regarding your strange human identity." Kankri's eyes trail down to the single succulent boobie, "But this is disgusting you horrible, horrible ugly freak."

And with that Kankri jumped out of the human window to his human house and rolled away. He rolled down a hill and into a lake, then out the other side and off the side of a cliff. He kept rolling until he exited the dream bubble. Then he kept rolling until he reached the end of paradox space.

Cronus looked out the broken window with a single tear in his eyes, whispering quietly, "So long, my little mutant cherry soda sprinkle... So long..."

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> KIIIIIILLL MEEEEEEE ;-;


End file.
